Tag Archives: treatment plan

Decisions and Goals

The last few weeks I have been trying to figure out what I should be doing. I thought I had it all figured out after we went to Houston, because I felt really good about my plan to get on a CDK Inhibitor trial as quickly as possible. The frustrating part came when I tried to follow through with my plan and found that all options either took longer than I thought they would, or involved more travel on a regular basis than I would like.

I thought of going anywhere in the country to get on this trial as soon as possible, but there is a lot of monitoring when you are on a trial drug, and I would have to travel frequently for that. It didn’t seem worth the commitment for a lot of future travel when I would be able to get on the same drugs closer to home just a couple of months later.

My oncologist at Huntsman, Dr. Buys, did not seem overly concerned with the idea of me waiting another couple of months to begin treatment, but I did not feel comfortable with that idea at all. I had already waited two months, and did not want the cancer to spread any further.

I have to be off all treatment completely for 3 weeks before starting on the trial drug, and so I didn’t know if I should get on another drug if there was a possibility I could begin a trial soon. Also, taking certain drugs would make me ineligible to be on the trial drug. (There are very strict criteria that must be met to be allowed to participate in this trial).

Finally, after seeing all the wheels moving slower than I wanted them to, I decided that I needed to get on something while I waited for this trial. I still feel like it is the right thing to get on the CDK Inhibitor, and it will be available to me at Huntsman (so no travel) within the next 3 or 4 months, but until then, I am taking Tamoxifen. It does not make me ineligible for the trial drug, and it can be an effective drug, although it would definitely not be my top choice right now. But I do feel good about being on something that can fight the cancer while I am waiting. And I am glad I decided to not take any drugs that would make me ineligible for the trial, or that would require me to travel all the time.

The side effects of Tamoxifen are minimal. Basically my body temperature is hotter than normal, and sometimes I feel slightly dizzy, but not too frequently. Really, I feel great, to be honest! I’m still running, and have plenty of energy.

I have also spent the last couple of months reworking my psyche. I spent two years with some hope that I was done with cancer (although I always knew it was very likely to return sometime), but I liked having that possibility that it was gone forever. Now that it has returned, we know it was never completely gone. But honestly, not a lot has changed for me. I’m not starting some crazy treatment that effects my quality of life, and life is going on as normal.

My goal is to continue to feel great and take good care of myself, while focusing on the things that really matter the most in my life. Cancer is not going to steal all my attention and focus. I will go to doctors appointments when necessary, and take the drugs I need to take, but in between those doctors appointments, I am not going to be a patient all the time. I am a mom, among other things, and there are people who need me to be me.

I am a happy person. I am so grateful for the many many blessings I have in my life. I love my husband and my children so much, and they bring me so much joy each day. I have deep friendships and wonderful extended family. No ability has been taken away from me. I feel healthy, strong, and capable of doing many good things in my future.

I will let you know when I am able to start on the trial drugs, or when I have any updates or scans.

Thank you all for loving me and caring about how I am doing. I love each of you, and thank you for the comments and messages of encouragement I have received.

Round 2

Friends,

We found out about two weeks ago that my cancer has returned. This time it is only in one small place in my lower back, in the iliac bone. Of course we are disappointed that I am no longer in remission, but this is not a huge surprise like the first time either. We have known that it was likely I would deal with this cancer again at some point. We just wished it would have been a longer remission.

Branden and I are still figuring out what my treatment plan will be. I feel great right now, and we are hopeful that I will continue to feel well during treatment. I may, or may not, do chemo. I’m almost certain that I will do radiation to that spot, but there are oral drugs that I may take rather than chemo. We just are not sure right now.

We have one opinion from my oncologist at Huntsman, but have decided that we will take a week-long trip out to MD Anderson in Houston, TX, which is arguably the best cancer hospital there is. We will be going the week of August 18th, (the first week of school for my kids) and I will have all sorts of tests while I’m there. I should come back with the best treatment plan for me, and some peace of mind that we have done our research and received multiple opinions from some well-respected oncologists.

We are really doing just fine. I am optimistic that I will be back in remission again soon. I thank you all for your love, support, and prayers in the past, and ask for your continued prayers. I am so fortunate to have, really and truly, the best family (on both sides) and friends. I am grateful for my faith, my husband, my children, and I feel strong and happy. My life is wonderful. My only complaint is that darn cancer! Hopefully we can get rid of it once and for all this time! I have learned that all I can to do is ‘do my best’. The rest is in the hands of my Heavenly Father.

I won’t begin any sort of treatment until after my trip next month to Houston. We will keep you posted on what we learn when we get back. And don’t worry, we really are doing fine, I just wanted to let you all know since I have shared this with you in the past. Love to each of you!!

Denise